You matter to God.
I know, I know. We have all heard it a million times, and believe it with maybe a tiny corner of our hearts…usually saying it to ourselves sniffling in the closet as we try on another pair of jeans that does nothing for our muffin tops – “It’s ok, God loves me. I matter as a person! (sniff, sniff) There’s always yoga pants….”
But do you truly believe it? Believe that the Creator of Earth and sea, gazillions of stars above and grains of sand below, animals and trees and all things, loves, chooses, cherishes YOU, (insert name here)?! You, with your (insert jeans size here), and your (insert income here), and your (insert latest failure here)?
I tell you what, I didn’t.
I believed that God loved me as a part of the greater whole – that He said in the Bible that He loved the whole world, and I just kind of happened to be a part of it, so yes He loved me. That He had created me for a purpose, but kind of like a q-tip – functional, but you feel kind of “ehh” about it.
I have been reading some books and studying more about it, and I am honestly a little ashamed at how I’ve been understanding my Father God. I never truly felt to my core that He loves me. Is fond of me. Enjoys me. Created me to make Him happy. Me. Just little old me.
Created me intricately. Knows I fail and loves that part of me too. Loves the time I spend with Him, and enjoys when I talk to Him and tell Him about my fears and my dreams alike.
Loves the wrinkle I get between my eyebrows when I’m focusing too hard. Loves that I have a hard time waking up in the morning. Takes joy in the fact that I love to be outside. Is holding me when I am sad and doing a godly happy dance when I am rejoicing. CARES. FOR. ME.
He thinks I’m beautiful, makeup and hair done or not. He thinks I’m worth something, whether I was productive today or not. He felt like the world needed me, whether I believe that or not. He lit specific fires in my soul to do things that only I can and loves to see me do them. He wants to give me good things and watch me live an abundant life enjoying them and praising Him.
And the same for you.
You’re not just here to take up space until you die. You’re not here as an afterthought. You’re not the object of begrudging love from the Father who made you dispassionately. You’re not going to earn more love from Him by being thinner, richer or more productive. You can’t impress Him with your knowledge or your reading list. He just wants your heart, and just wants you to know that you have His already, from the moment He thought of you. He created you in a special way, to do special things, and live a special, abundant and full life, and don’t believe anything different!
I’ll be honest and tell you that I don’t have this 100% figured out. I don’t feel it 100% of the way to all corners of my soul yet. I am still more comfortable sometimes with feeling like I can earn more love from Him or that He tolerates me, because that I can understand. But lately I feel like a door to a different way of feeling and experiencing God is opening slowly, and I’m learning to ask Him how He sees me, what He created me to add to His masterpiece, what He loves about me, instead of believing my emotions or what others or the world have and continue to tell me about who I am, what I am good at, or what I should do.
Can you do the same? Spend some time with your Father asking Him why you are special to Him? What He created you to do and how He is going to help you do that? Share with Him the things that you’ve believed about Him and yourself and ask Him to wipe those things away and replace them with His truth. We can’t be His free, lovely, lively daughters if we aren’t living in the truth!
I want to keep discovering who I am to Him. I want to tell the world who He is to ME, and I pray the same for you! We can change the world as truly loved daughters of the king IF we believe it.